Warrior Games & Lessons Learned

My name is Meghan (or Megs, depending on how well you know me) and I am the Executive Director of Team R4V.  I am one of the luckiest people in the world because my job is the perfect combination of hobby (running, cycling, playing outdoors, and cheering others on while they achieve their dreams) and work (HARD WORK).

Last week I had the incredible opportunity to attend the Paralympic Leadership Conference and the Warrior Games in Colorado Springs. Talk about a mind-blowing week, and I wanted to share some of my experiences with you.

Team R4V Founders (Joey & Bethany) at the Olympic Training Center

The Pararlmpic Leadership Conference proved to be an incredible investment of time and energy. Not only did I get to learn all about what other organizations, non-profits, and government entities are doing across the country to ensure that disabled individuals (it was not just focused on veterans) have every opportunity to get involved with sport, but I also had the opportunity spread the word about Team R4V.

What a response!! Folks were thrilled about the gaps in services Team R4V is filling, which is why Team R4V was founded. How are veterans supposed to continue learning their new sport if they: (1) Do not own the gear; (2) Do not have a coach to teach them; (3) Do not have the funds for either; or (4) Want to compete, but do not have the funds or are not sure how/where to compete? These are just a few of the areas where Team R4V is filling the gaps, and organizations were beyond excited to begin collaborating!  At this point, I am completely jazzed and handing out my business card like it’s on fire!!

The Chief and me

After making new friends, learning a ton, and touring the Olympic Training Center (AWESOME!), I was off to watch the Warrior Games (DOD & Paralympic sponsored event where disabled veterans compete in Olympic style events).  I was able to meet up with Coach Cami Stock and attend an Air Force track and swim practice where I was able to meet some of the new athletes, and give hugs to friends I have made along this journey.

I truly was unaware at how hard these athletes train to compete in the Games. After track practice, the AF team headed to the pool or to cycling, then off to volleyball practice. These types of rigorous workouts had been going on all week, and it was inspiring to watch the blood, sweat, and tears that went into each athlete’s preparation.

I was only able to attend Day 1 of the Games, but it was one incredible day, and a day I will never forget.  I headed to the Air Force Academy about two hours prior to start so that I could help with whatever I could, meet some athletes, and just be a part of the energy. I ended up being able to help more than I had thought (which was GREAT – I’m not good at standing around), thus, I was able to really connect with quite a few athletes and families.

I won’t go into the details, but I assure you I swallowed the lump in my throat over 1,000+ times, but it wasn’t because I was sad. I was in awe of the determination, resilience, and dedication of the athletes and families. To watch men and women without legs or arms put it all on the line, and never hearing anything but positive words come out of his or her mouth was humbling and inspiring. To watch individuals that were blown up or shot, those that have Traumatic Brain Injuries, or individuals with Post traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) learn to believe in themselves again and push through perceived barriers was something that I cannot possibly describe in words. I was honored to be a part of those experiences.

Start of the men’s recumbent race

Start of the Women’s Race

Start of Men’s Upright

First Ever Special Operations Command (SOCOM) Team win!

I learned a lot last week, but something that resonated was this – it’s not about the competition, it’s about the Journey to the competition. It’s about the people that tell you that you CAN, the teammates yelling out your name and that have your back, it’s about being with your brothers and sisters who truly know how you feel, it’s about learning to believe in yourself again and knowing that you ARE capable and you should push yourself to experience new challenges – it’s about so much more than just sport.

The Warrior Games have changed me. The individuals and families I met and the stories I was told are etched in my heart and I have grown as a person because of it. Thank you to all of you that shared your journey with me.

Please take just a few minutes to watch the video below – thank you!

The Chief – Driving to Colorado (Day One)

Chief Master Sergeant Damian Orslene, or the “Chief” as his friends know him, is traveling to Colorado to compete in the 2012 Warrior Games as a member of the Air Force Warrior Team.

We sat in the kitchen, my Bride holding one of my hands while I quietly worked the laptop’s mouse with the other.  We had left Selection Camp knowing, unofficially, that we had made the 2012 Air Force Warrior Team, and had received a Congratulatory email confirming it, but we’ve been around long enough to know that nothing is official until the Air Force puts it in writing, so it was nice to see the official release with all our names on it. But, that isn’t what had our attention at the moment.

Our attention was focused on the final list of events each Athlete was selected to participate. It is a bit of Black Magic to try and get everyone into an event they want and still try to do what is best for the Air Force Team.  I am continually amazed at how our Coaches pull this off. Lori’s grip on my arm got a little tighter as we got deeper and deeper into the list. “So you got the Bike, Discus and Shot,” she said. “Yes, my injuries are unique and qualify me to be able to throw from the chair.” “Have you ever done that before?” she asks. “No Babe, Until Camp I’d never even seen it before.”  She squeezes my arm. “So you have a lot of work to do and getting out there as soon as you can like you did last year will not only help you acclimate, but help you learn what you need to do well from the chair.”  I nod. “I can’t go” she says in a whisper, “I have school. They’re doing me a huge favor in letting me take my finals early just so I can come for the Games.”  “I know” She pushes a sheet of paper covered in numbers across the table at me. It is the cost of shipping my oversized bike to Colorado, and the cost of a rental car, and expenses that with us building a house, we just don’t have right now. I had already been through them. I knew where this was going and was trying desperately to come up with any other solution but none came. I took a deep breath and slowly let it out. She squeezed me hand.

“So I’ll drive,” I said. And she nodded. “Are you sure that’s what you want to do” she asked? “Heck No! It’s not what I want to do!“  I exploded standing up upsetting the laptop, my pent-up emotions spilling out of me like erupting lava kept far too long below the surface.  “I had a hard enough time just driving to the Louisiana Rails to Trails by myself and you had already gone with me the week before. We’re talking about me driving alone for days to Colorado! Are you nuts! No I don’t want to do this.” And My Bride didn’t say anything…just waited.  I stared out the window.  Another very big breathe, and even longer sigh to let it out…“I set a personal record in every individual race I swam last year and got a Bronze Medal in the Relay.  I was never out of breath in any basketball or volleyball Game.  I’m a year older and the competition keeps getting younger. Going to Colorado early, works. We proved it last year. If we are going to do this, then we have to do it all the way, “Go Big or Go Home.”  I hung my head, like a man hearing the judge’s words sentencing him to his own execution… “I’ll drive.”

It seemed so easy that night, to think, heck it’s a week away, we’ll worry about it then, we so much going on to get ready. It didn’t seem like it was all that big a deal at seven days away, and man nothing to REALLY worry about at five days away, but when we turned the corner at three days away…we had one of those OH MY GOD moments, and then at two days, suddenly the garage was full of bike parts and our bed was so full of winter clothes, workout clothes, bike outfits, four different kinds of shoes, that for the next two nights we slept in the extra bedroom and I found myself finding reasons not to go to the garage, avoiding it all together…and a great DARKNESS started to build. Tuesday was departure day. I didn’t sleep Sunday night. I could feel the fear building inside me. To an outside rational person it might appear silly for a grown man to be afraid to drive alone. On an adult level I know there is nothing to fear.

It doesn’t matter what I know, or read, or listen to. Somewhere inside my TBI/PTSD brain lives a darkness that is afraid to drive long distances alone.  It creates anxiety in me unlike anything I have ever experienced. It has driven me to tears. I hate it. It is real.  Monday found me slowly starting to unravel, and the plan for me to drive 1,300 miles, 23 hours in two days was quickly becoming unmanageable.

Lori, who is taking three college classes, handling all the details of our building a house, doing our taxes, while simultaneously taking care of me, stopped everything and came up with Plan…well by then it was probably Plan D. The drive would take three days instead of two, two short days so I wouldn’t get exhausted, leap frogging from Barksdale Air Force Base to Sheppard Air Force base so I would feel secure and have things I was familiar with and then only one long day to finish with.  A good plan.

At 0100 Tuesday morning we had finally secured the bike in the bed of the truck covered in tarps, but still needed to pack. The plan was go to bed, get up pack the truck and get out of the house by noon.   Yep, Good plan. Tuesday morning I woke up full of fear. Twice I had to go to the garage for something and found I decided to go do something else. Lori asked me to take something to the truck and I told her I was busy. Noon was quickly approaching and I had packed but still had not loaded a thing in the truck. I stood in the doorway leading to the garage with my hand outstretched with my stomach so knotted that I thought for sure I would vomit right there. “How #^@#@ ridiculous is this! “ I screamed and stormed to the bathroom to soak a washcloth and place it on my neck. I was visibly ill.  Lori found me and took me by the hand and led me to the garage. I stopped at the door. “Come on” she urged and pulled me through.

There was something in her other hand but I couldn’t see what it was until we got to the back of the truck. It was a magnet.  “I bought this for you” she said “I want you to read it every time you come to the truck because it’s the truth. It doesn’t matter what you do at the Games. You have already won by overcoming this.  I have seen you do wondrous amazing things. You can do anything you set your mind to. YOU ARE MY HERO!. You are Damian Orslene for God’s sakes!  Around here that means something.”

Tears sprang to her eyes and she choked with emotion as she continued “ I know that inside you what you are going through is very real, and horrible and I have seen you fight it and struggle with it, but nothing has ever kept you from your goals. Nothing.  Not Katrina, Not Iraq, Not even your own body…you can do this. We’ll take it one step at a time. But I know what kind of man you are. I’ve seen you standing with your hands on your hips, and your teeth clenched so tight I though your jaw would break, and through sheer stubbornness you could pull off miracles for people.  That man is still inside there. He just needs to be stubborn for himself today. You can do this Honey, I know you can.”

I Cried. She cried. I didn’t leave at noon, it was a lot closer to 1530. But six hours, two rainstorms, two gas stops, two Big Gulps, more crying, many phone calls and a whole lot of worrying later…I am typing this from lodging at Barksdale AFB.  I made it all by myself…but I was never alone.  I could feel my Bride’s love and strength every step of the way.

Leg One down, two to go.  All wondrous things have started with just that courageous first step…but my friends…that is one hell of a first step.

Air Force Selection Camp – Recumbent Ride

Chief Master Sergeant Damian Orslene, or the “Chief” as his friends know him, has taken Team R4V along while training for the 2012 Warrior Games, which will take place April 30 – May 3. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Warrior Games, it is a Department of Defense (DOD) and U.S. Paralympics sponsored event that consists of Olympic-style competition for wounded veterans and service members. The Chief will be blogging about his training, challenges he faces, and some of the realities of training for an elite event as a wounded veteran.  

I watched everyone else go off to his or her cycling events, while I waited patiently for my day to ride. Finally, even though I didn’t have my own bike, my turn came. The Cycling coach climbed into a recumbent bike beside me and said, ” Okay, Chief, let’s see what u got?” and he smiled. I know a challenge when I see one.

The Warrior Games bike course is a 6-mile course, two loop race with a lot of hills. 12 miles isn’t exactly daunting to a guy who just rode 450 miles in six days, but then again I wasn’t racing either. The mileage didn’t scare me, so off we went… fast. I figured let’s see what we can do.

A short downhill, leads to a rolling hill, another downhill and then the first of two 180-degree turns.  We had to wait for traffic, which gave me time to look UP at the course. I then realized that I was looking up for a very long time. “Just how long is the hill?” I asked Coach. “2 miles or more” he replied.

Oh joy! Here we go, let’s show him what these legs can do! Up we went, pounding away, the coach soon fading away behind me, the long hours grinding against the hills during Ride2Recovery paying off…BigTime! Half way up and my legs are churning great, I have pulled even farther away from him, and suddenly a warning bell starts going off in my brain.  I hate warning bells. I don’t recognize this one, so I choose to ignore it, and keep churning. I’m now three-quarters of the way up. Woohoo!

The bell is louder and quite persistent, and my legs are starting to feel funny, I down shift a gear and start to give the warning bell some serious thought, when it stops. See, must not have been too dang important in the first place! My legs really feel weird now and my breathing is coming in ragged breaths. I have to downshift again, I can see the top…I am trying to keep my Revolutions Per Minute at 85-90, but my legs suddenly falter. We had been doing so well; I downshift again.

“Boy you really took off there didn’t you!” his voice startles me. My Coach had caught me on the hill. I’m breathing so hard I can’t even reply. “It’s about a 7000 foot elevation change from the Mississippi Gulf Coast Chief,” he said, “your muscles are oxygen depleted, you have to go slow at first, and build up to the fast stuff.” Oh sure, now he tells me. “I’m surprised your body didn’t warn you before this.”  Oh that’s what that warning bell was, go figure.

I struggled up the next two hills to the turn and enjoyed the two plus mile down hill, he signaled me to turn into the Air Force Academy Stadium where we had started. I still had not got my breath back yet. My lungs felt like someone was on the inside with a blowtorch.

“How you doing?” he asks, “Just great!” I say and he laughs. “Chief,” he said  “I can teach a rider a lot of things, but to attack a hill like you just did can’t be taught, you have what it takes or you don’t. You have it. All you need is some time to acclimate and to get to know this course better and I think you will do just fine here. Yes Sir, Just fine indeed. Welcome to the Air Force Warrior Recumbent Bike Team” and he smiles. “So now how do you feel?”. I Smile. “Surprisingly much better!”  I had made the Team!   “Good,” he says, as he clipped his feet back in, “what do you say, we ride it again and this time you don’t try to kill either of us on the hills?” I smile. ”Yes Coach! ”

I MADE THE TEAM!  Life was good! With another smile, off we went…

The Chief – AF Selection Camp Day 1

Air Force Selection Camp – Day 1

Chief Master Sergeant Damian Orslene, or the “Chief” as his friends know him, has taken Team R4V along while training for the 2012 Warrior Games, which will take place April 30 – May 3. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Warrior Games, it is a Department of Defense (DOD) and U.S. Paralympics sponsored event that consists of Olympic-style competition for wounded veterans and service members. The Chief will be blogging about his training, challenges he faces, and some of the realities of training for an elite event as a wounded veteran.  

I have to make the Team. There will be no Warrior Games, no trip to the Olympic Training Center, no standing under the Olympic Rings, no Gold Medal, or one of any other color, unless I make the team.

Yesterday I rode airplanes all day sick in my stomach because the airlines didn’t accept my bike. The plane was too small and they said it would be severely damaged. My bride took it back home. So I am at camp, trying to make the Recumbent and discus teams without my own frigg’in bike. Oh aren’t we off to a great start!

The plane rides went fine. The hotel is great, the same one we have used the last 3 years. We met as a team for the first time at 0800 this morning. It was awesome; a virtual family reunion, with a couple of us having been here all 3 years, 9 or so from last year, and then there was a sea of new faces. Young, new faces. Hungry. Young. New faces.

I am also a veteran of the wheel chair basketball and seated volleyball teams. These are intense and demanding sports. Basketball was today, 3 hours of full court wheelchair basketball. Oh yeah, tomorrow I’m going to hurt in places I don’t even know I have. Practice went very well.

Then came Track and Field; the Field being discus throwing for me. Practice stunk. The very young and hungry people showed up. I am going to have to really dig in here. Tomorrow is my first bike ride, more basketball and more field. A long hard day. But nothing ever worthwhile is easy. So it is time to take the ice off my knees and get to bed to awaken refreshed and ready to face whatever dragons life is going to threaten me with…regardless of how new, young, and hungry they are!

The “Chief”

Welcome to a Special Edition Series with the Chief!

Chief Master Sergeant Damian Orslene, or the “Chief” as his friends know him, is training for the 2012 Warrior Games, which will take place April 30 – May 3. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Warrior Games, they are a Department of Defense (DOD) and U.S. Paralympics sponsored event that consists of Olympic-style competition for wounded veterans and service members. The Chief will be blogging about his training, challenges he faces, and some of the realities of training for an elite event as a wounded veteran.

Before we start with the special series, below is a brief Q&A with the Chief. This will give you a glimpse into not only why the Chief is a fierce competitor, but also allow you to understand the role that athletics, the military, and his family have played in his life, and the incredible sacrifices he has made for our freedom.  

Chief, you have been an athlete your entire life, how has your training changed since you sustained multiple injuries in Iraq?

The Chief

My bride and I were competitive age group Triathletes. We competed all over the UK, and the US and were dedicated 5 and 10K runners.  The injuries from Iraq changed all that forever. But that’s ok. It just required some refocusing. I have multiple injuries to my back, as well as to my hips, a new right hip, and even though we’ve extensively operated on my right shoulder it will never be the same again. Mentally dealing with the changes was probably the hardest part, then once I accepted that I would never run again, and never ride an upright two wheel bike again, things turned around for me rather quickly. In the past, my weakest event in the Tri was my swim, I’m not really built for it – I sink! So, I just powered through it, to get to the other events. Suddenly, swimming was not only my therapy but something I was pretty good at. I dedicated all of 2009 to swimming and in 2010 made the inaugural Air Force Wounded Warrior Team as a swimmer. In 2011, I received a Bronze Medal at the Warrior Games in Swimming! It was amazing!

What were some of the toughest challenges you faced after coming home from Iraq? 

There are three pieces to that puzzle.

First, No one goes through, especially after three deployments, what we went through, and comes home the same person; and I wasn’t.  I wasn’t the same person, but yet I expected everyone around me to accept that and just love me no matter what.  That wasn’t fair to them. My bride had to fall in love with me all over again, we had to start all over and rebuild our family, and that wasn’t easy.

Especially when you throw in the second piece and that is I was in constant pain.  Never ending…nonstop, no matter how much medicine I took…pain. Most days I just suffered. There were times I didn’t think I could take another minute of it. Those were dark days. And then you are faced with your biggest challenge you have ever been faced with in your entire life – Number Three:  Accepting the new you. You wake up one morning and you look in the mirror and you say “ok”.  You decide to quit fighting yourself and finally give in and accept a few of the new features of the new you: your new bionic arm or leg, or hip or the diminished memory from your TBI.  This might happen right away, or if you’re stubborn like me, it might take you a couple years before you finally accept this is who you are, and that’s just fine. Life is the ultimate marathon, it takes a little while. It took me a little while to get to where I am today, but the point is, I made it here!

Do you think having athletic goals has allowed you to push beyond the rehabilitation expectations post-injuries?

Absolutely. I remember sitting in the Doctor’s office and she said Chief, your right hip is a total mess, your right shoulder is a total mess, you have three blown vertebrae, your right side of your hip has been twisted forward, while your left side of your hip has been twisted back. Then she started telling me all the things I’d probably never be able to do again. That’s when I started forming my goals, THAT DAY! I was going to prove her wrong. And I have on many things.  I haven’t been able to run yet…YET! The only reason I’m still in Physical Therapy is because of my personal high standards and athletic goals. I’ve already exceeded all normal patient standards. On my chart it says, Patient Goal: Gold Medal at Warrior Games! So they keep extending my visits and keep pushing me hard towards my goals!

You were chosen to represent the United States Air Force in the 2010 and 2011 Warrior Games, and have competed with the Swim, Basketball and Seated Volleyball Teams. What events will you be competing in this year and has your training changed from previous years?

I have done a complete makeover for this year. The past two years I was a swimmer, 50M Free, 100M Free, 50M Backstroke and 200M Relay; with last year winning a Bronze medal in that amazing pool at the Olympic Training Center in Colorado Springs! But it was really hard for me to dedicate 9 months out of the year to swim those events and compete against 20 year old Navy Seals and Recon Marine swimmers who kicked my 46 year old ass. So I knew it was time for a change.

I had been really resistant to trying out a recumbent bike because I didn’t want to give up on the idea of ever riding a normal bike again. Because of my hips being twisted, and my back being hurt, I can’t sit on a normal saddle for more than a few minutes without excruciating pain. But, last year Coach Cami asked me to fill in as an alternate Recumbent Bike Rider, and if you haven’t met her yet, there is no way you can ever say no to Coach Cami, so I tried the Recumbent and fell madly in love with that bike. I rode it for 30 minutes the first day and got up and felt no pain and knew it was time to make a move. Last year I made the Track and Field team as a Discus thrower, but had to bail out because it was hurting my shoulder and I needed to focus on swimming. So this year I am giving Recumbent Bike and Discus my full attention. Those two sports are vastly different from swimming and I’ve found they compliment each other very well.

What role has your family played in your rehabilitation?

I would not be who I am, or where I am in life if it weren’t for the love and support of my family, especially my Bride.  Lori has been the greatest supporter and the real Hero of this story. She had a stranger come home from Iraq, who was injured and broken, suffering, in pain, with TBI and PTSD, night mares, flashbacks, whiteouts, day mares, the whole nine yards, and she just kept her arms wrapped around me tight. No matter how bad it got, she never let go. She has been completely self-less. Most people see me when I’m out and about, already up and dressed and on the field, but they don’t see what all Lori had to go through that morning to get me there.  Every time I started to give up she was right there beside me holding my hand. Every time I thought I can’t do this anymore, she was right there.

The Chief with his Bride

Every time I began to wonder if it was worth all this pain, she was right there to remind me, that I was not the only one in this fight. That this was not my rehabilitation, but OURS. And WE were going to get better. And WE were going to beat this thing, and WE weren’t going to stop until we reached our goal and WE are going to run someday… my bride and I together. In truth, my injury affected both of us so much that it became our injury. That is how we are attacking it…together.

Chief, you have been going through this for several years now and subsequently have learned quite a few lessons which we look forward to reading about, but what ONE thing did you learn the most about you?

That’s a tough one, because I’m hard headed and learned so many things the hard way.  But, each of us has to have our “Moment”. Our darkest of darks moment. If you’ve read my testimony you know about mine, I won’t rehash it here. What we learn in that moment, is the ONE thing.  What I learned in mine was I’d rather live than die and I NEEDED to be an athlete again. I love standing on that block in the Olympic Training Center pool, with 300 people screaming, staring down into the same water that Michael Phelps stares into, waiting for that buzzer…waiting for that moment…and when it goes off, and your muscles coil and you fire yourself off across that Olympic blue, hanging for a split second weightless on air…in that moment…I feel like an athlete again. Those moments are magical, and are worth all the long training sessions, protein drinks, and ice packed knees…for that ONE moment. That’s what I learned about me.